Kira's Carol
by Tallulah Grammar Songstress
Summary: Death Note does "A Christmas Carol".  One night, Raito Yagami is visited by four spirits...
1. Warning

(A/N: Written for the 12daysChristmas LiveJournal challenge, prompt "eight fairy tales". Inspired by Charles Dickens's _A Christmas Carol._)

There was no one else in the apartment except the dripping of taps and the hum of traffic and the faint twitching of curtains and yet. And yet, Raito couldn't stop walking from room to room. He only managed not to check in cupboards or behind doors because that was for people who had guilt to hide.

He had just got into bed and was trying to read when he heard the clink of chain.

All the other noises could be explained away by neighbours or settling houses, but this one was a genuine oddity.

(And it took him back.)

He got out of bed and listened, and heard it again, from the kitchen. Jingle, and then the thud of a cupboard door. And soft, padding footsteps.

(He doesn't call the police, because he is Kira and doesn't need them, does he?)

Instead he walked up to the kitchen door, which was closed now, and listened. The sounds stopped and listened back.

And a voice said, "I am well aware that you are listening, Raito-kun. Please, come in."

And so he did.

L was crouched on the kitchen table, holding a packet of sugar lumps which he'd clearly taken from the nearby cupboard. The streetlight from the window was behind him, turning his skin into paper.

"You're dead," said Raito, stepping forward, "and those are not your sugar lumps."

"Oh, come now, Raito-kun. We've both stolen things, haven't we?" A faint crunching as he popped another sugar lump into his mouth. "I am interested to see how you'll behave towards me now there isn't so much to hide."

"You're supposed to be dead," Raito said, gritting his teeth because he doesn't make mistakes. "What are you doing here?"

L tilted his head to one side - in the shadow that was his face Raito knew those huge eyes would be watching - and raised his free hand. Clink. He was still wearing the handcuffs. The chain was piled up on the table and Raito followed it with his eyes until he saw it stopped almost at his feet.

"You always knew that we would be linked together forever, didn't you?" L said.

"Don't talk nonsense."

"I'm not. You're even wearing my name. Anyway, you are my first friend. Do you have any hot chocolate?"

"Ryuzaki," Raito said, not meaning to use that name, "get to the point."

"You're walking very close to the edge, you know," L said. "I suppose you always did. But the situation is critical now. I'm only trying to turn you back, just a little."

"I don't believe you. All you've ever wanted to do is catch Kira. I suppose it's not unlikely you'd try and do that from beyond the grave, so don't pretend you're concerned for my welfare."

"Very well," L said. He popped the last few sugar lumps into his mouth, and, through them, said, "At three points during this night you'll be visited by people you may remember who will attempt to demonstrate to you the error of your ways. Pretty standard, really. If you aren't interested and would prefer to put it down to dreams brought on by the stress of being Kira, then that's fine, but please don't start blaming me when you wake up afterwards."

He scrambled down from the table, the light glowing on his bare feet. Clink. Raito would not back away even as the chain trailed across his toes. L stood in front of him, the light brighter now. Then he turned to look at it. It should have glowed on his face, but there was nothing but shadow.

_Raito next found himself lying in bed, the sheets half off and cold air pinching his feet. And yes, when he went out to the kitchen and checked, he had run out of sugar lumps, but he couldn't swear that he'd actually bought any, and it would be stupid to believe in ghosts on that evidence alone. It was now one o'clock._


	2. Past

There was no one else in the apartment; Raito was certain of this point, and when had he been this paranoid anyway? And so he lay with his eyes closed and waited for nothing. Dreams never follow any sort of order.

He thought he'd almost fallen asleep when the door opened.

"Raito? It's time to get up."

And then he was really awake and he almost didn't want to be. He sat up and turned to stare. "Dad?"

His father looked just the same as he always had; no, he looked younger, he looked like the dad Raito can only really remember from photographs.

"Did Ryuzaki send you?" he asked, because he wanted to be sure. This could be a wish-fulfilment dream. There'd been a lot of those, for a while. But his father didn't answer.

(_Damn it, L, this isn't fair._)

"You are dead," Raito said, at last, scrambling out of bed and walking towards him. "I know you are. _Did_ you see Ryuzaki? It's - it's important."

The lines of streetlight from the window shone in his father's glasses. Raito saw his own face there for a second before Dad turned away, walked out of the room. Raito followed.

Outside the room there was darkness.

"How's your mother?" Dad said at last. "And Sayu. Are they all right?"

"Yes," Raito said, only because he was tired, and then realised the lie was unnecessary. "Well. Sayu's still not getting out much. But she'll be better soon." When the world was better. "Dad, you're not answering my question. Did you - do you get to talk to other people when you're dead?"

There was darkness and not even a speck of light. (Raito dreamt this once. That it was dark, and no matter how much he tried to put the lights on they wouldn't work and it wasn't fair.)

"I didn't think," his father said, "that anything from work would follow us home. I thought you would all be safe."

There was darkness and the walls around them as if they weren't walking through the apartment at all. As if they were buried. Only Dad's voice gave Raito any clue to how far he was ahead, and getting further. He sped up a little. "Dad, wait." (They lost Sayu once, in town. Raito found her and made his mother cry.) "They _are_ safe. Mum is sad and Sayu obviously went through a traumatic experience but no one's going to hurt them now, and they will be better, they will -"

"And you?"

Far away, he could hear laughing. Children.

"Me? There's nothing wrong with me."

They both stopped. The laughter was closer now, and words, but he couldn't tell what they were.

"I thought you were following," Dad said. "But when I looked back, you'd gone."

"I'd gone? It's you who left. Dad, please, you have to tell me, did you speak to Ryuzaki?"

Silence.

"Dad?"

And suddenly the laughter was right behind him and running footsteps and then a small figure ran into him, glancing off his legs and wailing, and a voice from further back called _Sayu, you idiot. Just slow down!_

"I never left!" Raito shouted into the dark. "You hear me? I never left, it was you! I did it for you, you always put the right thing above everything else. You would've killed me too. You - you just think about that!"

And further along in the dark the little girl was crying.

_This time Raito woke to hear some late-night partygoers laughing in the street. Some girl was shrieking, and at first it sounded like crying. Outside, the streetlight flickered, and suddenly burst into life again. It was now two._


	3. Present

There was no one else in the apartment, for these were just dreams, and Raito had no intention of letting them scare him. L had always watched him to see a reaction. Raito was not going to give him the satisfaction.

He wasn't going to wait, either.

"All right," he said aloud, getting up and switching on the light. Not buried. "Let's see what's next."

Of course, for a long while nothing happened. In the end he started to read, trying not to look at the clock but unable to stop himself. Surely sooner or later it would get to three and - and that would - prove something. L had always liked to be methodical.

From the doorway, someone said, "Why do you keep looking at that clock?"

At the same time, the light went out.

Raito was already turning to look when she reached him, grabbed his collar.

"Don't look round," she said, and at the same time he felt something cold and metallic touch the back of his neck.

"Why not?" he said, wanting to laugh, this was a different sort of story suddenly. "I like to see the faces of my attackers, after all."

"Are you scared?" she asked. Her fingers weren't deathly cold. They felt just like real fingers.

"Why would I be scared? You're a ghost. Ghosts can't hurt me."

She laughed, and he felt her breath ruffle his hair. (If you die in your dreams you die in real life -)

"Why can't I look round?" he said. "I know who you are. You're that FBI agent, aren't you? The woman who worked with Ryuzaki."

"If that's true," she said, softly, "you never saw me die."

"The Note always works."

"If you get the name right." Cold metal. "How do you know it wasn't a double bluff, Raito Yagami? How do you know I didn't give you a false name and play along and walk away?"

"Because - because you didn't report what you knew! I told you to your face who I was! If you'd survived you would have gone straight to L!"

"Perhaps I had my own agenda. Doesn't everyone, in this game you've set up?"

And that gets him, because so many people are walking out of the shadows with their own tricks and traps and tests and he's learnt the hard way about letting his guard down and it can't have happened again, it _can't_, this is a dream battle, it can't have spilt into the real world -

"You are scared," she whispered. Her hair tickled his neck. "I can feel it. That's how everyone in your new world feels, all the time."

"No. Only the ones who deserve to die are scared -"

"Everyone you don't like deserves to die. Don't delude yourself."

"Be quiet," he snapped, because he's never deluded himself. Because he's _so smart_. "Don't be ridiculous. Crime is dropping. War has died out. I have saved thousands of lives and you want to stand against that because -"

"Because you murdered my fiance?" she said. "Yes. Yes, I do."

"And now," Raito said, because he was not quite sure that this wasn't a dream, "you're going to murder me."

A pause, then, "I don't have a choice," she said. "I know what you're going to do to your enemies. And I don't want them to die like Raye died. I don't want people to miss them like I missed him."

(_Let me wake up now._)

Outside, a car rushed past. He could just feel the faint heat of her, close to him. She smelt of leather.

(_Let me wake up?_)

"Why aren't you letting me look at your face?" he cried out. "I can still remember it. That's not the important part. I can still _kill you_!"

"If you look at my face," she said...

"You'll see how I chose to die. And you've taken everything else."

And then there was a shot.

_Raito opened his eyes to find himself lying slumped on his side as if he'd died and come back to life again. Outside, on the street, there were running footsteps, and another door slammed. His heart was still beating too fast. At last, it was three o'clock._


	4. Yet to Come

There was _no one else_in the apartment. He'd let that woman - whatever her name was, he forgot now, it had been so long - he'd let her get under his skin, and that was ridiculous.

"The ghost of Kira past," he whispered to himself, feeling his own hands cold against his chest as his heart pounded, "the ghost of Kira present...

"What's yet to come?"

Something knocked on the door.

_What's yet to come?_

"All right," Raito said, "come in."

The door swung open. Standing there, looking out of the darkness, was Matsuda.

Raito frowned.

"You're not dead," he said. "Are you?" _Not yet, anyway._

Matsuda swallowed, glanced at his feet for a second.

"Can I come in?" he said.

Everyone knows once you invite the ghosts over your threshold it's entirely your own fault. But this was Matsuda, who's probably not dead and wouldn't be threatening even if he was. Wouldn't be threatening ever.

"Of course," Raito said, making his voice as genial as possible.

Matsuda trailed into the room, still not meeting Raito's eyes, and sat down on the bed. Close to, he smelt of smoke and damp clothes, as if he'd been watching a bonfire on a drizzly day.

"I'm not dead," he said. "I think I'm asleep. It seems like a dream to me, anyway."

"That's all right." Raito shrugged. "I think I'm dreaming, too."

Matsuda smiled. Sort of. He looked older, somehow.

"Good," he said. "That's... good. It... is it a nice dream?"

I've had better, to be honest."

Silence for a second, both of them looking into the dark.

"You know what's yet to come, don't you?" Raito said.

Matsuda was still, suddenly. He was never normally still.

"You do. You know what's yet to come, you know what my new world will be."

"Don't talk like that," Matsuda said, and laughed suddenly, leaning forward, hands twisting round each other. "Don't, it makes you sound like - like Kira."

Smoke, and wet clothes, and something else. Something like -

This is a dream, and so Raito moved a little closer, and reached for Matsuda's wrist in the dark, because spirits can disappear without warning, and whispered, "Well, that's not really surprising. Is it?"

"Stop it," Matsuda said through gritted teeth, "just stop, you don't - you weren't -"

"Yes. I am."

Smoke, and damp, and something like -

"Raito," Matsuda said, and his voice was shaking suddenly, "why did you do it?"

Smoke, and damp, and something like blood.

Raito said, "What do you mean, _you weren't_?"

_When he woke up, the air smelt of nothing more than night and cold air. It was four o'clock._

_And they'd been nothing more than dreams. They had to have been nothing more than dreams._

_"I win, L," he said, aloud, into the dark. Because he couldn't afford to believe anything else._


End file.
